Tag Archives: Dumb and Dumber To

‘Zoolander 2’ is what you’d expect it to be

Zoolander 2 is to comedic films what Eminem is to hip-hop.

Are you with me?

Something that commonly happens in hip-hop is that, when emcees are younger, they tend to spit rhymes faster. Think of Eminem. You can listen to some of his earlier work and hear it, rapid-fire slander, jokes and insanity, spitting so quickly you find yourself missing references and rhymes while you latch on to some of his phrases. But if you listen to Eminem now, he’s not quite so machine-gun quick. That old roadrunner tempo shows up sometimes, but usually Eminem’s more recent songs are more deliberate affairs.

The initial Zoolander was a hoot, a mix of dumber-than-dumb humor, spot-on fashion industry satire and hilarious cameos. The jokes just kept coming, one after another. If one didn’t stick, you didn’t have time to think about it because another one was flying at you. I’m not saying it’s the greatest silver-screen comedic endeavor of all time, but it’s a funny flick that stands up to repeated viewing.

Zoolander 2 just feels older and slower. Maybe that’s part of the joke, as Hansel and Derek are constantly mocked for being out of touch and over the hill. But it’s a tired joke. Zoolander 2 moves at a crawl, weighed down by jokes repeated from the first film and cameos that aren’t nearly as much fun as those in the original. There are only so many times that Magnum and Blue Steel references will work. The appearances by Derek’s ghost wife add nothing, and the Hansel orgy jokes barely registered. I’m sorry, no one outside of Los Angeles, New York, Paris and Milan gives a shit who Anna Wintour and Marc Jacobs are, and most people don’t even know who Wintour and Jacobs are, period. And that matters if your climactic scene is going to be stacked with fashion designers. While I love a good Billy Zane joke as much as the next guy, I don’t see most audiences getting why his appearances are funny. And so on.

I suppose there is some good news: Zoolander 2 was superior to Dumb and Dumber To. Although that’s hardly a compliment.

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Think you need to see ‘Dumb and Dumber To’? Think again

I hope they collected enormous checks for this crap.

I hope they collected enormous checks for this crap.

You think when you show your son movies like Robin Hood, Men in Tights, Airplane!, Ace Venture, Pet Detective, Spaceballs and so on, you’re bonding over silliness and fun, as well as passing along a humorous legacy.

Then your son sees the commercial for Dumb and Dumber To and won’t stop talking about it. And you realize you only have yourself to blame.

My son, daughter and I trekked to the theaters to see Dumb and Dumber To. Afterward, my son wanted to recite line after line, laughing again at his favorite parts. But his sister and I weren’t playing along, and the gag rehashing instead turned into a bitter argument between my daughter and son about funny and/or less than humorous moments from the film.

So I guess what I’m saying is, Dumb and Dumber To divides families.

The situation is more dire than that, though. It’s not funny. At all.

Of course, you may say, “Adam, that’s just your opinion.” Well, yes, on the one hand. On the other, I have a half-full theater of people who would support me on that one. We all sat there together, for the most part not laughing, even cracking smiles. I’ve been part of audiences that laughed our collective asses off: The Hangover, Pineapple Express, South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut, There’s Something About Mary. Hell, man, even Disorderlies.

There was none of that with Dumb and Dumber To. It was mostly collective boredom, a unity in our desire to see it end and be on our way.

Don’t watch Dumb and Dumber To. You’ll wish you hadn’t.

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