Tag Archives: classic rock

Songs classic rock radio should be playing, No. 5

Classic rock radio, it’s time to weed out the losers and plant a Soundgarden.

5. Soundgarden, Black Hole Sun. I could have picked Alice in Chains, Mother Love Bone, Screaming Trees, etc. The Seattle sound ruled rock in the early 1990s, which is now 20 years past and clearly worthy of “classic” designation. I chose this particular track because Soundgarden’s Superunknown was probably the biggest of the Seattle albums to cross over (with some apologies to Pearl Jam’s Vs.), and Black Hole Sun was a huge, all-over-radio-and-in-regular-rotation-on-MTV single that defined it. But lazy-ass classic rock radio has chosen to play only Neil Young-approved Pearl Jam and leave it at that. Unacceptable. Dump everything from overrated pop acts like REO Speedwagon, Kansas and .38 Special, and you’ d have plenty of room for rock that ruled both radio and video and actually mattered culturally.

Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mbBbFH9fAg

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Songs classic rock radio needs to forget, No. 1

1. Anything by Eddie Money. I’m cheating a bit, but it’s my damn list. Let me ask you this: Have you ever heard these words: “Up next, Eddie Money, by request”? No, you haven’t. Here’s why: Baby Hold On, Two Tickets To Paradise, Take Me Home Tonight, Shakin’, etc. The only people requesting these songs are A) on Money’s payroll and want to keep cashing checks, and B) Money’s family, who are afraid if the classic rock royalties dry up, Eddie will want to sleep on their couch. No big-time rock star is ever going to say, “I was really inspired by Think I’m In Love.” No one’s conceiving their children to I Wanna Go Back. No one wants to hear this guy anymore. And if they do, they’re paying the $5 entrance fee at the Jay County Fair and checking out the horror live. Cut him off. Make the world a better place … of course, radio programmers would probably just play more Foreigner in his place, so I’m not sure why I’m even trying.

Why you’d want to, I have no idea: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbhXmSBlS_U

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Songs classic rock radio needs to forget, No. 3

No. 3. Rush, Tom Sawyer. Fermat’s Last Theorem took 357 years to solve. Andrew Wiles managed to do it in 1995. It takes a special brain and unique drive to be able to work through problems at such a high mathematical level. I think we can all agree it’s impressive and not the sort of task most of us are capable of accomplishing.

I think we can also agree the solving of a mathematical theorem doesn’t offer much in the entertainment department. No shoestring tackles, no guitar solos, no giant robots crashing into each other. Just a person, a stack of paper and a bunch of sharpened pencils. Maybe a little sweat on the brow. Seriously lacking in excitement.

And that’s the way I feel about Rush. You have a bunch of impressive musicians making music that is technically proficient but doesn’t have much soul. Tom Sawyer is a hit by default for a band that has sold albums over its career really has no singles. It’s time for classic rock radio to find a new Rush song to play. Enough. It’s clunky, dated (that sweet synth is carbon dated) and a song no one but the cultist Rush fans would miss if it disappeared from the airwaves.

If you can’t control yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsKBIBJj-4M

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Songs classic rock radio needs to forget, No. 4

4. Foreigner, Double Vision. I really could have chosen Feels Like the First Time, Hot Blooded, Head Games, Dirty White Boy … you get the point. These pedestrian pop stars have been masquerading as above-average rock stars for far too long (call it the “Nickelback Syndrome”). Double Vision in particular is lame lyrically, uninspired musically. The fact that this mildly catchy piece of milquetoast that has hung around for 30+ years is a blemish on classic rock radio’s permanent record. I don’t care if you sold 30 million albums in the 1970s. People thought Agent Orange, Richard Nixon and Ford Pintos were a good idea during that decade, too. We didn’t hang on to those dated, unhealthy, self-destructive proper nouns. Foreigner shouldn’t get a break, either.

If you must: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BC0GXFNKw_I

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Songs class rock radio needs to forget, No. 5

Are you tired of hearing Magic Carpet Ride? Centerfold? Jumpin’ Jack Flash? If you’re like me, someone who loves music and isn’t hestitant about wandering off the beaten path to find it, you’re often offended by classic rock radio. Stations have the entire history of rock and roll to choose from, yet every afternoon during drive time you’ll likely hear I Can’t Drive 55. Every Friday afternoon Working for the Weekend will be spun. And some reason, despite the fact that he was once part of the greatest rock and roll bands to every walk the face of the earth, I continue to hear Robert Plant’s voice singing the same underwhelming Honeydrippers’ songs over and over and over again. Radio programmers ignore the vast palate from which they have to choose only to keep painting the airwaves beige, day after day. Here in East Central Indiana, you pretty much only have oldies, pop, classic rock, country and the usual right-wing gasbags on AM to choose from. Options are limited. And when classic rock stations lazily funnel those choices even more, it’s frustrating, agonizing and boring. And there is only one sin in rock and roll: Never, ever be boring.

So with this post I start my run of 5 Songs That Classic Rock Radio Needs To Forget.

#5. Lynyrd Skynyrd, That Smell. That smell of death around you? That’s backstage at a Lynyrd Skynyrd show, the rotting corpse of a once great band. Yes, we get it, these poor Southern boys, their friends, family and associates, have pretty much been cursed. Apparently, they wanted to share that curse with the rest of us. Because now, if you manage to listen to classic rock radio for about 15 minutes, you’ll likely hear this tired, dusty tune with its uninspired lyrics and awkward transitions into to the chorus. Freebird tends to be mocked, at least by people of my generation, but at least it’s a pleasure to listen to, even if – for some – it’s a guilty one. Sweet Home Alabama, Saturday Night Special, Simple Man, etc. There’s plenty of quality Skynyrd to choose from. Unfortunately, That Smell continues its stale run. it’s time to get the aural Febreeze and knock That Smell out of here.

Check out That Smell here, if you must: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjAPoN8qs0Q

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